Why Is Life So Hard? 4 Things You Can Do About It (2023)

If you are wondering why life is so hard, then there is probably something missing from your life. Ask yourself, are you living a life of complacency or a life of purpose?

Regardless of how you define “purpose,” you know whether you are chasing it or settling for less. Interestingly enough, you will face challenges in both cases. The only difference is how you feel at the end of the day.

Why Is Life So Hard?

When you question why life is so hard and you are chasing your purpose, you know there is something that makes everything worthwhile. As “risk-free” as settling may appear, you will bear the burden of never reaching your true potential. You will always be wondering if there is more to life than the one you have lived.

While the journey to change your life is not always easy, it should ultimately be enjoyable. You should enjoy learning more about yourself, your goals, and your motivations.

If you find yourself wondering if life gets any better, here’re some tips for you:

1. Surviving Versus Thriving

Every day, you have two choices. You can choose to listen to the loud voice of fear and self-doubt, or you can listen to the quiet voice of confidence and purpose.

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The quiet voice of confidence is the voice that is pushing you to chase your dream life. Your dream life is the life you would live if you did not have any responsibilities or obstacles. If you are wondering why life is so hard, you could be struggling to accomplish your purpose. You may want to start a business, but you need consistent income from your current job. There could be the challenge of overcoming a disadvantage you were born with or the environment you grew up in. Whatever the reason, there is a struggle that you have not conquered yet.

While you may feel you are making the best decision with the cards you have been dealt with, that doesn’t change the fact that you are meant to do more than survive. As essential as survival is, you don’t want to reach the end of your life never having truly lived. There are plenty of people who find their last days filled with regret because they always succumbed to their fears.

If you want to make your life easier, then stop putting your dreams on hold. Start taking small steps toward accomplishing them each day. Also, make sure you celebrate your small wins. This will help you build momentum and enjoy the process, so you don’t feel like quitting when challenges arise.

Even though you may not enjoy failure, it is okay to fail at trying something new. In fact, failure is a great sign to know that you are chasing your purpose and listening to your voice of confidence. Continue to learn from your mistakes and allow them to transform you into your ideal self.

2. Emotions Run High

If knowledge is power, then knowing what to do with said knowledge should make life easier. However, you will find that is not always the case. In fact, you can go out on a very stable limb and conclude that most people know what they should be doing.

Each year, close to half of the population makes a New Year’s Resolution. They have a plan of attack and they know what needs to happen for them to accomplish their desired results. Yet, less than 10% of people actually achieve their resolution each year. [1]

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This begs the question: Why is life so hard when you have a plan you know will work?

There are plenty of salespeople who know if they reach out to a certain number of people each day, they will have a successful business. Some couples know if they listen and consider each other’s feelings before taking action, their relationship will benefit. Whether you are talking about professional or personal goals, you know the action needed for success.

The disconnect occurs when you haven’t taken your emotions into consideration. It is difficult to consider someone’s feelings when you feel taken for granted or unappreciated. It can be difficult to make the next phone call when the last five people said no to you. There is an emotional aspect of life that makes doing the right thing difficult.

Studies show you can increase the likelihood of you overcoming your emotions when you use the ‘If-Then Principle’ to prepare yourself ahead of time. [2] The way it works is you create your response beforehand, so your emotions don’t get the best of you later.

For example, if you have friends who eat unhealthily, you can say, “If I go to lunch with them, then I will order a salad.” When you are dealing with sales, you may say, “If I am told no, then I will keep making calls until I hear yes”. As simple as it sounds, knowing how you will handle setbacks is what sets apart those who are surviving from those who are thriving.

3. Burning the Candle on Both Ends

If you are still questioning why life is so hard, then you need to ask yourself if you are working too hard. You probably chuckled a little at the statement, but humor me.

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Your life is a cumulation of your experiences. Some of those experiences are going to be more pleasant than others. If you find yourself with an unbalanced amount of unpleasant experiences, you need to determine if you are setting unrealistic goals for yourself.

For example, if someone sets a goal to lose 60lbs in 30 days, they may not know how unlikely that goal is to accomplish. If they knew the average weight loss regiment would recommend losing one to two pounds a week, then they would know two pounds a day is unhealthy. Nevertheless, if you set an unrealistic goal, you are going to feel deflated when you miss it.

Life gets even more difficult as you try to find a way to accomplish the achievable in an unrealistic timeline. You miss the fact that you have achieved tremendous progress along the way because you feel the failure of not achieving your goal. This can continue to be frustrating and have you asking yourself why is life so hard.

The best way to overcome this feeling of frustration is to give yourself more time. [3] You will be surprised how much lower your stress levels are when you give yourself more time.

Do you recall a time you had an assignment due in school or a project due at work and you needed more time? You know your presentation would be flawless if you only had another day or two. Then, by a stroke of luck, the meeting or deadline was moved back a week because someone got sick or had a conflict in attending. How amazing do you feel when you find yourself with more time than you expected? Go ahead and give yourself the additional time and see how it changes your perception of the situation.

4. Looking in All the Wrong Places

Life can be really hard if you are only thinking about everything wrong in your life. Believe me, I know there is a lot wrong in the world, but there is plenty right in the world, too.

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(Video) This Is Why Your Life Is So Hard Right Now . . .

You get to choose what you want to focus on. If you train your mind to only recognize what is wrong with the world, it makes it almost impossible to see the opportunities. Imagine someone who only watches the news. Most people acknowledge the news is full of negative stories that create fear, anger, and frustration. As a result, your perception of the world will be skewed by the constant bombardment of negative information.

A negative perception can also be created by associating with people who are always complaining about something. Whether they are complaining about their family, their relationships, or their job, it will cause you to ponder about the issues in your life.

For you to overcome a negative mindset, you need to take two actions. First, you need to reduce the negative information you are absorbing. You will need to spend less time watching the news and you need to reduce the amount of time you spend with negative people. This can be difficult if the negative person is a family member or a close friend. However, if their mindset has you question why is life so hard, you owe it to yourself to change your associations.

The second thing you need to do is create a positivity journal. You don’t need to write in it every day, but you should read it every day. You should start each day reading about all the things you love about your life. This will help you appreciate the joys of your life even more because those joys are not being drowned out by the day to day challenges.

Final Thoughts

The reason why life is so hard can vary from person to person. Your personal growth and transformation should comfort you every time you look back and recognize how far you have come.

Don’t grow discouraged when things don’t happen as quickly as you want. Instead, focus on the fact that you are taking a step in the right direction each day. If you are better each day than you were the previous day, you will love you the person you become when it is all said and done.

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Featured photo credit: Krists Luhaers via unsplash.com


Why is life so difficult answer? ›

Life is hard because we are worried and fearful that we have not done well in our lives. We are concerned that we are not living up to our potential, living our dream, working in our passion, or planning for retirement. Life is hard because we want more and believe that we are already failing.

Why is everything in my life so hard? ›

Your life is hard because you have made many mistakes in your life. Do not ignore those mistakes or let those mistakes go without taking any life lessons. When you will start taking your mistakes for life learning, Your attitude will become positive as well.

What should I do when life gets hard? ›

11 Tips for When Life Gets Hard
  1. Remember that it will change. ...
  2. Take it as a learning experience. ...
  3. Take it day by day. ...
  4. Practice Gratitude. ...
  5. Practice self-care. ...
  6. Learn acceptance. ...
  7. Take some time to relax. ...
  8. Talk it out.

Is life supposed to be hard? ›

Life is neither supposed to be hard nor it is. It is just some perception of people who just don't want to deal with the daily on goings of life and want to live in some kind of Utopia where they don't have to do things and things happen on their own. There are some really good answers here.

What is difficult times in life? ›

We all experience difficult times in our lives. You may be experiencing the death of a loved one, dealing with a job loss or adjusting to a life change, such as a move or divorce. Sometimes life isn't what you want it to be. That's why writing about difficult times is an important part of your life story.

Does a hard life make you stronger? ›

Psychologists say traumatic events can make you stronger physically and mentally. Research shows people who lived through post-traumatic growth report positive changes in their relationships with others, a better appreciation of life, and new possibilities in life. There's a benefit to overcoming adversity.

How do you not give up when life gets hard? ›

Here are 10 tactics to help you keep the faith and moving forward when you're on the verge of giving up.
  1. Feel the dip. This is big. ...
  2. See doubt as a positive. ...
  3. Meditate often. ...
  4. Go play. ...
  5. Contraction leads to expansion. ...
  6. Stick to your convictions. ...
  7. Find the good in experiences. ...
  8. Get active.
27 Oct 2016

How can I change my life? ›

How to Change Your Life
  1. Decide to Change Your Life. ...
  2. Learn to Embrace Discomfort. ...
  3. Identify Why You Want to Change Your Life. ...
  4. Define the Changes You Want to Make. ...
  5. Identify Things That May Hold You Back. ...
  6. Choose Your "One Thing" ...
  7. Set a SMART Goal. ...
  8. Prepare for the Storms.
15 Mar 2022

How can I better my life? ›

10 things to do to improve your life
  1. Writing your story every day. ...
  2. Identifying what's keeping you stuck. ...
  3. Focusing on right now. ...
  4. Getting better at time management. ...
  5. Setting realistic and attainable goals. ...
  6. Challenging negative thoughts. ...
  7. Getting your 8 to 9 hours of sleep. ...
  8. Participating in physical activity.

Why are life changes so hard? ›

Your Brain on Change

These “mental shortcuts” allow our brains to quickly process the familiar. Because any big change is an unknown, it's seen as an evolutionary threat. Our primitive brain doesn't know if the change is good or not, and our uncertainty can create a negative bias.

Why is changing life so hard? ›

It's so hard to change our lives because, for the most part, we spend it living in fear, worry, stress and anxiety, dealing with negativity from others and ourselves. Truly, we can be our own worst enemies at times.

What is the hardest thing in human life? ›

10 Toughest Things to Do in Life
  • Getting Married. How many times have you been mad at yourself or gotten into an argument with yourself over so many different reasons? ...
  • Parenting. ...
  • Becoming an Entrepreneur. ...
  • Health. ...
  • Overcoming Addiction. ...
  • The Loss of a Loved One. ...
  • Leaving People Behind. ...
  • Handling Success.
26 Jun 2018

What are 5 easy ways to improve life around you? ›

50 Deceptively Simple Tasks That Can Actually Improve Your Life
  1. Wake up 30 minutes before everyone else. ...
  2. Take a one-minute nature break. ...
  3. Look over your day the night before. ...
  4. Do something social at least once per week. ...
  5. Reach out to people you haven't been in touch with recently. ...
  6. Schedule family time.

Why are hard times important? ›

Research has found that up to 70 percent of people experience positive psychological growth from difficult times, such as a deeper sense of self and purpose, a greater appreciation for life and loved ones, and an increased capacity for altruism, empathy and desire to act for the greater good.

How hard things make us stronger? ›

One good reason to do hard things is that by doing them, they begin to feel easier — not because they are actually easier, but because by doing them, we become more adapted to and more adept at conquering them. Choosing to do what's difficult makes us stronger to face difficult things.

How difficult times make us stronger? ›

Going through hard times makes you stronger, and compassion is a strength you will carry with you for life. Tough experiences help you to understand and put yourself in the position of others that have been through similar. The hard times stay with you forever, and so does the strength in your heart.

What makes a person stronger? ›

Effort. Mental muscles grow with tension — just like the physical ones do. Mentally strong people put time and energy into learning, growing, and challenging themselves. And they've experimented with enough coping skills and lifestyle changes to determine what works best for them.

Why do people give up easily? ›

Most of the time, people give up on their goals simply because they lack discipline. They can't get themselves to see something through to the end, regardless of how small the project.

What causes a person to give up? ›

People usually give-up when it gets too hard or take too long. We fail a few too many times and respond by giving-up. Unfortunately, if this is our response we are ensured defeat, because failure is going to happen. We are going to encounter obstacles and frankly we might be completely clueless about what we're doing.

What to do when you've given up all hope? ›

Try something else—and if that doesn't work, try something else.
  1. Do not accept your helplessness. You must continue to try to escape the shock because you never know—maybe something that you do will work. ...
  2. Change your thoughts. If you believe that you cannot affect change, you will not even try. ...
  3. Try and try again.
27 Feb 2014

How do I start living again? ›

How do I start over in life?
  1. Start with reflection.
  2. Examine your value system.
  3. Revisit (and rewrite) your goals.
  4. Work up the courage to change.
  5. Make your next move.
  6. Get a coach.
  7. Keep checking in on yourself.
14 Apr 2022

How can I motivate myself to change my lifestyle? ›

6 ways to get motivated to live a healthy lifestyle
  1. Be positive towards yourself. ...
  2. Set goals. ...
  3. Make small changes to healthier options overtime. ...
  4. Exercise the way that suits you. ...
  5. Exercise with someone else. ...
  6. Get enough sleep.

What are the biggest changes in life? ›

Examples of Challenging Life Transitions
  • Marriage or a new relationship.
  • Arrival of a new baby.
  • Parenting an infant, child, or adolescent.
  • Growing up and moving away from home.
  • Adjustment to college or the workplace.
  • Empty nesting.
  • Divorce, separation, or recovery from infidelity.
  • Retirement, job loss, or career changes.

Why Change is hard and good? ›

Psychology and neuroscience offer us the three core reasons change is hard: Our brains are wired for laziness. Our brains' capacity is limited. Our brains don't like change.

How do you make a big life change? ›

Transition Plan: 10 Steps to Creating a Major Life Change
  1. Step 1: Be Clear About Your Intention. ...
  2. Step 2: Go Inside and Let Your Desire Ripen and Mature. ...
  3. Step 3: Feel Your Response to Your Intention. ...
  4. Step 4: Let Go of Your Intention. ...
  5. Step 5: Deal With Your Resistance. ...
  6. Step 6: Make a Plan to Overcome Obstacles.
22 May 2015

What is the hardest thing to change? ›

The 10 Hardest Things To Change In Life
  • #8: Email addresses. ...
  • #7: Last Names. ...
  • #6: Relationships. ...
  • #5: Banks. ...
  • #4: Zip codes. I don't mean just changing the 5-digit number in a mailing address. ...
  • #3. Careers. ...
  • #2. Hearts and Minds. ...
  • #1: Yourself. Even harder than changing other people's minds is changing our own minds.
18 Nov 2014

What is the hardest thing ever? ›

Although it holds the hardness record, diamond is not tough—if you smash it with a hammer, it will fracture and break.
  • Diamond, pictured here in an uncut, unpolished state, is the hardest known material. ...
  • Graphene is a one-atom-thick layer of carbon arranged in a chicken-wire pattern.
23 Nov 2010

What are the hardest things a person can go through? ›

10 Difficult Life Situations And How To Make The Best Out Of Them
  • Changing friendship. ...
  • Failures. ...
  • Divorce. ...
  • Losing a job. ...
  • Getting older. ...
  • Getting injured, falling sick. ...
  • Losing all that you have in a natural disaster. ...
  • Death of a loved one. Death is the ultimate truth in life.

Is Being human hard? ›

It shifts your focus, improves your resilience, and gives you joy. Yes, being human is hard. It takes work. But the effects of a daily awareness practice are worth it as we move from surviving to thriving, no matter the circumstance.

Why do I make everything hard for myself? ›

You just may be spending too much time and energy in following others instead of following your own self. You're just as important as others. If you don't value your own desires others will impose theirs on you. Practice following your own desires.

Does life ever get easier? ›

According to a new study, there IS a point where life gets EASIER. And that point is . . . age 44. The study found that people stress out in their 20s over things like finding a job, saving money, and dating . . . and people stress in their 30s over things like moving up in a career and starting a family.

Why do I have a sad life? ›

All these emotions can occur in response to a negative or unexpected situations, or life changes. Sadness often occurs at the same time as other feelings, such as anger, stress, guilt, grief, anxiety or hopelessness. Sometimes, the other feeling may be so strong that you don't realise you are sad.

What happens when you are too hard on yourself? ›

When used excessively, it is consistently associated with less motivation, worse self-control, and greater procrastination. In fact, self-criticism shifts the brain into a state of inhibition, which prevents you from taking action to reach your goals.

Why do some people make life difficult for others? ›

Why do some people make life hard for others? Because people have different and incompatible ideologies, philosophies, codes of behaviour and belief systems. This is the surface answer.

What is the unhappiest age? ›

The most unhappy time of your life is your forties, according to a phenomenon known as the “u-shaped” curve which states that happiness bottoms out around your forties then trends back up as you grow older.

What is the perfect age? ›

A new survey finds most Americans believe the “sweet spot” in life is right in the mid-30s. A poll of 2,000 people finds four in 10 would not go back to their 20s. Instead, the perfect age to be frozen in time at is 36 years-old.

Is life better as you age? ›

Despite our youthful pessimism about growing older, a mounting body of scientific evidence shows that, in many ways, life improves with age. We become happier and less anxious, more adaptive and resilient. We deepen our friendships and expertise, and shift our focus to the positive over the negative.

How can I be happy in life? ›

How to be happier
  1. Manage your stress levels. If you have a lot of stress in your life, find ways to reduce it, such as learning a few time-management techniques. ...
  2. Enjoy yourself. ...
  3. Boost your self-esteem. ...
  4. Have a healthy lifestyle. ...
  5. Talk and share. ...
  6. Build your resilience.

What makes life happy? ›

Most studies on what makes people happy agree that family and relationships rank right at the top. Next come meaningful work, positive thinking, and the ability to forgive. In rough order of importance, here are the top 10 things you can do to increase happiness in your life.

Why do I cry so easily? ›

Crying easily can be a symptom of depression, anxiety, or a lot of stress in your life. Since HSPs feel so deeply and can experience sensory overload, we're more susceptible to strong feelings of depression or anxiety. We might feel alone in our sensitivity or isolate ourselves to reduce excess stimuli.

Why should I keep going in life? ›

When you give up on life, you're giving up on any chance of success. People will want to know how you reached success. The more struggles, the more interesting the story becomes. As long as you keep going, you'll make it eventually.


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